Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Hedge Fund Speak Revealed

This is a pretty funny article on what Hedge Funds really mean when they say the things they do.
Hedge-Fund Phrase: This isn't a rescue.
Translation: THIS IS TOTALLY A RESCUE!!!!!!!

Goldman Sachs' GEO fund lost 30 percent of its value in a week and
was leveraged at a rate of 6-to-1. But to hear Goldman tell it, the cratering of
its own fund simply presented an irresistible buying opportunity. "We are
investing not because we have to, but because we want to," said Viniar during a
conference call. At another point, he noted: "No, let me just clarify. This is
not a rescue." And if you believe that, I've got some subprime debt I'd like to
sell you.

Yeah they really "want to" not have the fund go insolvent and ring up billions of dollars of losses for Goldman. The irresistible buying opportunity was there so that the Goldman guys could get through this mess with their jobs still intact. Hmm, I would be willing to bet that those big bonuses paid out last year may not happen again this year. Time to go short on expensive painting dealers, private jet rental companies, and guys who make yachts.

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