Beckham's 24-year-old sister Joanne came in for especially harsh treatment in the full-page spread accompanied by colour photographs.
"Dear me, is she chubby. Arms, bust, bum, all very British. Joanne is the sort of girl who drinks sangria on the beach in Majorca. And then dances on a table with her top off," said the paper Monday.
Here is a picture of Joanne Beckham. She does look like she enjoys the sweets:
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